I’m not a Feminazi, I’m a feminist

Supporting equal rights; get the gist?

Call me a man-hater, or even a bitch

Because other women have hijacked the cause?

Hold up; PAUSE

You say, Give it another name

Call it something else

Because its meaning has changed

That Feminists are deranged

Demeaning to men

and bring only strife.

All because a few select women

Distort the message

and yell the loudest

Don’t you recognize the wreckage?

A worthy cause

Rewritten, Reshaped

To allow for a complete disregard of laws.

Westboro Baptists exist,

Should Christianity cease?

Violent looters persist,

Are there no flaws within the police?

There are soldiers who abuse civilians, declaring their might,

Are there no more terrorists we must fight?

One individual, or even many

Can commit horrendous acts

Under the guise of a cause

Spreading chaos that distracts

From important goals

That we yearn for, deep in our souls.

Although he may not know it,

Dad raised me to be a feminist

Taught me to value my body, mind, and heart

That I am not inherently weak, or lacking

a vital part.

Both parents encouraged me

To stand up for myself

and my beliefs.

 Although we don’t always agree

They know what I think

Because I feel free

To at least try to put a kink

In the workings of their minds

So that, one day, they may find

The reasons for my beliefs.

Either way, they always listen

Hear me out

Give me a chance

Which is what it’s all about.

They’ve raised a daughter

Who is sharp of mind

Full of heart

and is not afraid to speak up

From the start

To defend this cause

That has been ripped apart.

I’m not a Feminazi, I’m a Feminist.

A person who strives for a reality

In which victims are not blamed

For daring to venture out on their own

Or for wearing certain clothes.

A reality in which

Someone has flipped a switch

and everyone will see

The hypocrisy

In a woman being called a whore

Whereas a man is called a man, for doing much more.

Wherein a confident, ambitious woman

Is deemed capable and equal

To her male counter-part

Instead of being written off as bossy and selfish.

Where women’s bodies are no longer a commodity

Used to sell a product, and support subjugation.

A daily flood of images

Finally seen through clear eyes

Disgusting de-humanization.

I can almost see it

Off in the horizon

A reality in which all these things are true

But only if we pull through

Don’t abandon the cause

Speak out, loud and clear

So they all know what it’s really about.

I’ve been very discouraged by how many strong women I’ve encountered lately, whether in person or in the media, who have denounced Feminism. Each of these women live the values of Feminism every single day. They expect equality, whether it be in the work place, in media or within their own household. And yet, they have bought into the false-prophets, if you will, of the cause. I won’t disagree with them on one point. There are plenty of vicious, man-hating women out there. I’ve met them, and been very sickened by their complete disdain of men, and women whose main goals are to create a traditional nuclear family. Although it is not a primary focus for myself at this time, I completely respect a woman wanting a happy marriage and to raise healthy, happy children more than anything else. The whole point of Feminism, is that every single woman should not be expected to fall into this same category by default. Some women want their career to be the nucleus of their life. There is nothing wrong with that, they merely have different goals and priorities. They are not failing at “Womanhood” by deciding not to reproduce.

Now, on the other matters of Feminism, I am even more baffled when women undermine the goals. It’s frustrating enough to hear men shame women for their clothing choices and “reckless”  decisions to *GASP* walk to their car by themself, or leave their house at night without a male chaperone to protect them. But when women engage in this behavior, I am appalled. Unless you had constant male companions throughout your childhood, until you got married, and subsequently remained glued to your husband’s side, I doubt you have been impervious to the toxic conundrum of trying to assert your independence as a GROWN ASS ADULT when you frequently had to wait after clocking out during a night shift so that a male co-worker could walk you to your car. I don’t usually get this heated, or long-winded (apologies for the run-on sentence) in my posts, but this topic hits very close to home.

For over a year, I worked at a dive-bar in downtown Pasadena. Once I began working closing shifts, it was all I could do to not sprint to my car the second I clocked out at 3 AM, after six hours of being trampled and shoved around by drunk people in an establishment that, without fail, would smell of putrid vomit by closing time. Somehow, I contained myself, and would end up waiting at the entrance, sometimes forty minutes after I had clocked out, waiting for a bouncer to escort me to my car. You can imagine how frustrating this would be, when the sun will be rising in a few hours, and I am no longer getting paid, and yet I cannot leave. Because that would be irresponsible. Because I am a woman. Which translates into : I am a likely victim, particularly in bar districts in the middle of the night. Imagine my building anger, mostly at what our society is like, when I watch several of my male co-workers calmly walk out the front door, turning down my offer to drive them to their car, if they walk me to mine.  Multiple times I started walking out the door, but the bouncer stationed there, who could not leave, no matter how much he wanted to, pleaded with me to wait until he clocked out, also reminding me that if our closing manager found out I had walked by myself, I would have gotten in trouble. The worst part wasn’t even the fact that I had to wait so long. It was the fact that, had I chosen to walk by myself, and had I been assaulted, the first thoughts the average person would have would be along the lines of, “Why did she do that? That’s so irresponsible. What did she expect to happen? She should have waited.”

Why is the occurrence of a woman being assaulted more easily overlooked than the occurrence of a woman behaving as any adult should be able to, by walking to her car unaccompanied? That is why I am a feminist, among several other reasons. I detest that I am expected to behave as a child, and only venture out with appropriate supervision. I want to live in a society in which I can feel empowered as I am, and not with the assistance of a man.

To all the strong women out there. Never give up, the day will come.

To all the men who understand, and treat us as equal human-beings, with respect and consideration. Thank you.

Until next time,

Candace